I don't believe in astrology - July 30, 2018
Am I a fraud?
A lot of you know that I do and don't believe in astrology. It's the premise of the newsletter. It's in the title. It's my gimmick (as in, you gotta get a...). And it was born of true thoughts in my noodle. However, I love this column by Rosa Lyster for The Hairpin, "Astrology Is Fake But..." and it makes me feel like a plagiarist even though I had my idea (and, like, my own opinions about astrology) before I read it.
I don't know what's worse, the fear that people will think you've copied someone or the realization that everything's been done before. In the first case, you could have been original but chose not to be, and in the second, you could never have been original because there's no such thing. As an Aquarius rising, I'm super turned off to both.
It's also too late. I've committed to this conceit. It's this or nothing.
If you think I'm a fraud, please tell me. I'd love to hear that feedback. And Rosa Lyster, I like your work, and I also like my work, and I don't think they are the same work!
What are houses?
I know that not everyone reading this knows what I'm talking about when I talk about houses. For instance, right now, the sun is in my seventh house. That sounds like I own seven properties and the last one is big enough to contain the sun.
Houses are fundamental, so I'm offering a quick primer to help you make better sense of your horoscopes. This all sits within the usual context that astrology does not make sense and isn't real.
There is a mathematical wheel in the sky called the zodiac, and astrologers divide this into 12 houses -- which probably should be called slices to appeal to pizza-lovers. These houses coincide roughly with the star constellations that power the myths of the signs. Note: these constellations have moved over time and no longer belong to their original designated astrological zones, but astrology doesn't care. Western astrology in particular keeps the traditional location of the zodiac intact, as it aligns with the seasons as we experience them. And since this is a practice that people invented, it makes sense that they should be the center, not the actual stars themselves.
So each of the 12 houses rules over a different part of a person's life, and when the planets move in and out of those areas, their energy animates those sectors of your life. That's how I know what's up with an Aries rising even if I don't know them personally.Each house also corresponds, in order, to the signs themselves, so there's thematic overlap between the two.
Here's a very inexhaustive list of what each house means.
First House (Aries):
The physical body, your appearance, especially the head and face
Appetites
Demeanor and approach to the world
Personality and the impression you make
Second House (Taurus):
Money and finances
How you give and receive
Moral growth
Values
Pleasure/fulfillment from work
Third House (Gemini):
Your mind and intellect
The way you communicate (write and speak)
Relationship with siblings
Your nerve/daring
Short trips
Fourth House (Cancer):
Your sensory experience of the world
Your emotions
Your house
Land, property, immovable possessions
Family traditions
Fifth House (Leo):
Love affairs and passions
Children
Indulgence, entertainment, relaxation
Social instincts
Creative expression/art
Sixth House (Virgo):
Health, diet, exercise
Work/labor
Day-to-day tasks
Work environment/conditions
Love of and kindness to small animals
Seventh House (Libra):
Marriage/partnership
Business partners
Open enemies/nemeses
Fruits of labor
Eighth House (Scorpio):
Weird or prophetic dreams
Other people's money (settlements, commissions, spousal assets/income, inheritance)
Effects of death and loss
Sexual needs
Taxes
Ninth House (Sagittarius):
Philosophy, higher thoughts, religion
Higher education
Ceremonies
Fruits of creative energy
Long trips
International interests
Tenth House (Capricorn):
Vocation/business
Public standing/reputation
Authority/expertise in a particular field
Realization of ambition
Eleventh House (Aquarius):
Hopes and wishes
Friends, followers, fans
Professional networks
Organizations, clubs, groups, activities
Twelfth House (Pisces):
Self-undoing, vulnerability
Bad habits, addictions
Secrets
Introspection and self-examination
Sorrow, loss, bereavement, grief
Secret enemies/backstabbers
Mental health and strength under duress
That last house right? Sorry, Pisces, it's a dark world you command. But remember, you command it. The rest of us are merely subject to it.
There are so many more little oddball pieces of life that fall under each house (like, for instance, your bank is under the purview of the fifth house, and the twelfth house rules the religious attitudes of one of your parents, especially if they are another sex). Who knows? Seems arbitrary, but not entirely. One through-line is that each subsequent house carries the fruits or rewards of the one that came before it, i.e., the seventh house represents your partner, and the eighth house is their assets. The tenth house holds your career and reputation, and eleventh house is the people who are fans of your work.
It's real but it's not.
Moon void of course
Now let me tell you all the days/times when the moon is void of course. These are the periods when the moon is between signs and makes no major aspect to any other celestial body. Think of it as the moon in retrograde, and the moon is our emotions. That means that decision-making and consequential conversations are best scheduled outside of these windows, and instead use this time to think, clean, or finish old projects.
All times are Eastern.
July 31-August 1: 6:42 p.m. to 6:54 a.m.
August 2-3: 10:52 p.m. to 3:51 p.m.
August 5: 7:46 to 9:32 p.m.
August 7-8: 3:55 to 12:01 a.m.
August 9-10: 7:20 to 12:18 a.m.
August 11: 5:58 a.m. to 11:59 p.m. (solar eclipse at 5:58 a.m.)
Solar eclipse new moon on August 11
At 5:58 a.m., we will have not only a new moon but a solar eclipse in Leo (all solar eclipses are new moons but not vice versa). New moons are hopeful, lovely, usually stress-free events that bring initiating energy so that we can plant seeds that come to fruit during the next full moon. That's why I recommend writing down 10 wishes right after it strikes. Now, 6 in the morning is pretty early, but you ideally want to do this as soon as possible once it happens (not before).
One note: if you look at the moon void of course table above, you'll see that the solar eclipse actually kicks off one of those windows. That means my advice seems contradictory: don't start new things while the moon is void of course, but new moons are for beginnings? This is why I don't believe in astrology! So here's the deal. One, this is common. New moons and full moons often coincide exactly with void periods, and I don't exactly know why. Footnote to myself to learn more on this! Regardless, the magic of the new moon is not about planning, it's about hoping. It's about getting in touch with what you want, and setting a focus for yourself over the next two weeks (and beyond). When you write down your 10 wishes, those shouldn't read like an action plan but rather a summary of desires. And thinking about what you truly want is exactly what you should be doing during any void or retrograde period. The how-to comes later, when the moon gets going again.
I hope you guys bought that! It's certainly good enough for me, but then again, I want to believe in this stuff. Helps me live.
Maybe I should change the title to: I believe in astrology because I want to believe in astrology. Or maybe that's what I name the book. I'll think about it.
Now, on to horoscopes!
Horoscopes for July 30 to August 5
If you know your rising sign, read for that, because that's how I figured all this out. Your rising sign is the sign on your first house (now you know what houses are!) cusp, which means I can approximate where everything else is in your chart. That tells me which parts of your life are going to be affected by the planetary transits and events taking place. That's the secret! Your sun sign is great and very important but tells me nothing about how it will affect you. But if that's all you know, I guess you have no choice.
Aries + Aries rising... Things are good for you these next few weeks. Partnership will get a little easier, especially after the 6th when Venus moves into Libra. Even better for you, the solar eclipse in Leo on the 11th means you'll have hopeful energy and good luck gathered in your house of true love, dating, and creativity. Mercury's still in retrograde though, so don't say anything stupid or move too fast (which is exactly what you tend to do). Just relax, pretend you're a patient person, and enjoy it.
Taurus + Taurus rising... You're hustling, and it may feel like all work and no play. This will ease up after the 6th when Venus blesses your house of employment. Meanwhile, your attention is focused more and more on your home, which is perfect, because Tauruses are naturally domestic creatures. The solar eclipse on the 11th hits right in that sector for you, so either you're getting inspired (not planning!) to renovate, or you're lighting candles and taking a bath, or you're entertaining friends for dinner and games. Either way, your home is your art right now.
Gemini + Gemini rising... The Venus transit on the 6th moves into your house of love and romance, so even if you're a single twin (ha), you'll be extra charming and attractive to others. Leverage this. Meanwhile the solar eclipse on the 11th is in your house of communication, and since you're a Gemini, you're probably already some kind of writer. Even if it's just a text, you are an effective conduit for information, and Geminis can spread gossip like no other. Be careful, because your ruler Mercury is still in retrograde. You're usually late anyway, so leave extra travel time or use that Geminian wit to come up with brilliant excuses.
Cancer + Cancer rising... The week starts a little tense, and you and your partner, spouse, or best fremeny might be extra catty to each other. Venus will smooth out the friction between you on the 6th when it moves into your home sector, soothing the deep underlying tensions in your psyche that often manifest as bitchiness. But then this is fun: on the 11th, the solar eclipse strikes in your house of earned income, suggesting that you may soon be rewarded (with money) for all your hard work lately. Remember from above: that is also your house of values, so maybe you'll get a new office or two monitors or something else that you care about at work. But I hope it's money and I know you do, too.
Leo + Leo rising... It's still your season, Leo, and all that solar energy is making you hustle harder and faster. That's all good -- you want a bright future and you heard hard work is the way to get it -- but don't neglect the little ones who helped you along the way. Or your partner, who is supposed to be your equal. You're a Leo, you know how to shower someone in appreciation, so maybe get some of that going at home. The solar eclipse on the 11th hits you in your house of self, which is on the axis of partnership, so it's a good time to redefine boundaries and obligations. In a hopeful, sexy way, not a boring way.
Virgo + Virgo rising... Mercury is retrograde, so need I say more? You and the Geminis (me) are suffering the most through this, and, look, we're going to be fine, we're just not going to have any fun. However, Venus is finishing up her orbit through your sign until the 6th, so feel free to strut a little harder. Honestly, you're probably looking pretty fine these days, so take a picture, it'll last longer. On the 11th, the solar eclipse will light up your house of secrets and darkness (ironic), although you're likely to have a fruitful spa or meditation session if you'd actually commit to one. Don't think of it as vacation or indulgence, just think of it as something that will help everyone around you because you'll be calmer.
Libra + Libra rising... You want to compromise this week in matters of business. Don't be seduced by your own competitive instincts; let a few things go, and it'll be worth it for harmony in the office. Meanwhile Venus transits your first house on the 6th, making relationships smoother and imbuing you with radiant light. Good for you. The solar eclipse on the 11th also hits in your house of friendship, so you'll probably be feeling extra social. This is the time to be a joiner and a connector. No wallflowers this week.
Scorpio + Scorpio rising... On the 31st, the moon in Pisces will oppose Venus in Virgo, which will put tension between your love affairs and your friendships. Maybe you're neglecting pals because you have a big dumb crush on someone, or maybe your friends don't love your significant other. With Mercury (and so many of the planets) in retrograde, it's too soon to tell who is right, and plus this mood will likely pass. Ride it out. Meanwhile the solar eclipse on the 11th blesses your house of career, meaning you should wish for huge, unattainable goals in case any of them come true. If they don't, no harm.
Sagittarius + Sagittarius rising... If you're traveling (and Sag loves to travel), watch out for the inevitable nightmare of it all since Mercury is in retrograde. Uranus is going retrograde on the 7th in your house of work, which could shake up something in your daily routine in the form of a new account or sudden wrist strain making it difficult to do morning push-ups (this would make me miserable). Could be for good or bad, you never know with Uranus. It's just always surprising. The solar eclipse on the 11th might take you places, either literally (travel) or intellectually (books that introduce new ideas, publishing gigs that reach new audiences). Mercury will dampen some of that energy, but it should be a positive, fun time for you.
Capricorn + Capricorn rising... You might fight with a lover on the 4th, but at least you have a lover, right? If not, no fight! That's a good deal. Meanwhile, Venus moves into your house of career (your favorite house) on the 6th, lending grace and charm to everything you touch at work. Then the solar eclipse on the 11th hits in your house of other people's money (and also sex and dreams, you remember), so maybe you want to think about (not plan for yet!) a new investment frontier. Sexy dreams aren't bad either. Maybe they are telling you something about what you really want (sex).
Aquarius + Aquarius rising... Uranus (your planetary ruler) going retrograde on the 7th in your house of home and stability means that you may not feel so at home or stable in your environment. Because it's a retrograde, it's likely to kick up some issue that you thought might have resolved itself. It hasn't, and you need to go back and tend to it in a new way. Meanwhile the solar eclipse in Leo on the 11th means it's all about your married or business partner. If relations have been tense (and they have, because Mars in retrograde has been in opposition all summer), this eclipse will provide an opportunity to sage the room, if you will, and make real strides toward reconciliation (or a renewed commitment).
Pisces + Pisces rising... The moon-Venus opposition on the 31st will make things tense with your partner (or work partner). That aspect will pass quickly, but you may feel extra stretched at the office lately, which is making you irritable all around. Good news: the solar eclipse on the 11th hits in your house of work, which may mean you have a lighter load going forward, but also that you'll be recognized for all your recent contributions. Don't ask for a raise while Mercury is in retrograde, but begin gathering your achievements to angle for one at the end of the summer.
Plugs
The lovely and talented Sharon Spell talked to me for her podcast, The Sharon Spell Show, and it was such a therapeutic conversation (at least for me). She's very smart and worth listening to, and we talk about astrology and life, because astrology is life.
I wrote a cute and now totally out-of-date humor piece for Points in Case on the blood moon last Friday. I was happy to be published and not perished that day.
My August 2018 horoscopes for PureWow are here! Perfect reading material to tide you over until Susan Miller posts hers.
My morning procrastination while I wrote this newsletter: a list of the signs as bosses.
Thank you for tuning in. If you liked this newsletter, please tell others about it. Meanwhile you can find me writing for PureWow on Twitter and Medium @alexkiki.