A newsletter for people who believe in astrology

Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf Blood Supermoon?

It's here it's here it's here 🐺🌕♌

Hi, there’s a big full moon tonight that peaks at 12:16 a.m. ET! And I can’t stop thinking about this Pocahontas lyric even though she’s talking about a Blue Corn Moon which is a different moon happening way later in the year.

Image result for pocahontas blue corn moon gif

ALSO: Maybe we shouldn’t be calling it a Wolf Moon at all, since it’s an oversimplification of its native roots. Need to do more research.

But to recap, this moon is:

  1. A full lunar eclipse,

  2. which means it’ll scatter reddish light into the sky, making it a blood moon,

  3. and it’s also at its perigee, the point closest to the earth, so it’s going to be huge—thus, a supermoon.

  4. And it’s in Leo, so it’s kind of a lion, too. So it’ll be dramatic and extra and probably win Best Actress at the Oscars.

To compound the issue, we have tense oppositions and painful squares all day leading up to it, just to ensure the most possible amount of stress!

  • The moon in Cancer is opposing both Pluto and Mercury, both in Capricorn. So emotions will be at war with our deepest desires and our minds. Cool!

  • The Cancer moon will square off against Uranus in Aries, the planet of shocks and surprises. Those surprises can always be good, but when it’s forming a square to your moon, it probably won’t feel very welcome today. You could say or do something you regret—or someone else could. Given that these are both in cardinal signs (Cancer, Aries), this square could manifest physically. So take care of your bodies today!

  • Right before the full moon starts, Venus in Sagittarius will square Neptune in Pisces. Those are planets we prefer to be working together, as they both rule beauty, art, and glamour—and Venus specifically rules diplomacy and peace! We need diplomacy and peace right now! But our capacity for all of the above (creativity, aesthetics, peacemaking) will be diminished.

I already feel personally attacked by this moon.

Image result for raise your hand if you've been personally victimized gif

Here’s, briefly, how it will affect everyone else. Good luck!

♈🐏 Aries: RELATIONSHIPS.

The Wolf Moon will raise issues with anyone you’re dating, your kids if you have them, or creative projects that mean a lot to you. Think back to the blood moon of July 27th. Whatever was messing with you then will reemerge.

♉🐂 Taurus: HOME.

The Wolf Moon will strike close to home, meaning something in your domestic life (the people you live with, the house itself, your sense of well-being at home) will be up for review—and it will be painful. This day is the opposite of hygge.

♊👬 Gemini: COMMUNICATION, PEERS.

The Wolf Moon may inspire arguments with siblings or friends, horrendous delays in your normal commute. If you’re married, this could be a tense day between you. It’s an intense supermoon, and being a lunar eclipse, its results can affect the next six months. Choose your battles wisely.

♋🦀 Cancer: MONEY YOU MAKE.

The Wolf Moon hits you in your house of income, and it’s in bad angle to your career and marriage houses. If you’re splitting up with a spouse or a business partner, this could be a day you really feel the loss of it, whether or not it literally translates to lost money.

♌🦁 Leo: YOU.

The Wolf Moon hits in your sign, Leo, so it could indicate turbulence in your marriage, or simply with your own happiness with yourself. Whatever issues arose during the blood moon on July 27th will reemerge. This ends the series of eclipses in your sign, thankfully, so the closure with this one should be real.

♍🌾 Virgo: UNCONSCIOUS MIND.

The Wolf Moon is sending turbulence to the most intimate, interior part of your chart. If you are in therapy, today is a good day to go. You may feel defeated for no reason, or perhaps you did uncover deception from someone close to you. Think back to the blood moon on July 27th for clues to what issues will be raised with this one, and then prepare accordingly.

♎⚖ Libra: FRIENDS.

The Wolf Moon may stir up drama with friends or any organizations you belong to. It may not even have anything to do with you—it could be the misconduct of a peer that affects you and your group deeply. You could also potentially have major conflict with your spouse if you’re married. It’s a tough day, and it will be reminiscent of whatever drama was unfolding around the blood moon on July 27th. This one should finally put the issue to rest.

♏🦂 Scorpio: CAREER.

The Wolf Moon might bring up an issue related to your career or your public profile. Think back to the blood moon on July 27th—this one will bring up similar issues. The good news is, this one will settle them for good. But it will be impactful, so brace yourself.

♐🏹 Sagittarius: TRAVEL, BROADCASTING.

The Wolf Moon will screw up any travel you might have planned, especially if you were going somewhere with a significant other. It will be a tense and horrible day, and if you can stand being at home—or somewhere that makes you feel more like home than you home—go there instead.

♑🐐 Capricorn: OTHER PEOPLE’S MONEY.

The Wolf Moon could affect your partner’s (or overall household) income, which could make being at home feel difficult. Go for a walk or a drive to clear your head. If you recall the blood moon of July 27th, this is like part two of that.

♒👽 Aquarius: MARRIAGE.

The Wolf Moon is hitting you right in your marriage or business partnership. Remember the blood moon of July 27th? Similar issues are coming to the surface. They will be painful, and divorce or splitting up is definitely very possible at this time. No good news with this one, except that it’ll eventually be over.

♓🐟 Pisces: WORK, HEALTH.

The Wolf Moon will be tense not only for work in general (and possibly your health), but the kind of work that impacts your career at large. You could get very bad news or be put back on an assignment you really didn’t want the first time around. Think back to the July 27th blood moon; those issues are likely to resurface. And if you were fine then, you’ll probably be fine now.

Uranus is being such a Uranus right now

He's proud of it, too 🤣

Happy New Year—right? (Yes, I think so!) 🎉🎇

This January is an especially powerful one, and change is a-coming. Though the first month belongs more to Capricorn than Aquarius, the radical waves of the water bearer will crash early in 2019.

Not only do we have two(!) eclipses this month, but Uranus—the ruling planet of Aquarius and administrator of Aquarian culture—is going direct for the first time since August 7th. That concludes the major retrogrades that slowed down all our progress last year and made us feel like we were wearing brick sandals. It’s over.


First, the solar eclipse tonight

The solar eclipse in Capricorn tonight (the 5th) is a benevolent, sweet new moon. Solar eclipses are always new moons but not vice versa, so these lunations are extra special and can affect the next six months.

Related image

The solar eclipse peaks at 8:28 p.m. ET, and I will be writing down my 10 wishes right after (not before). I very much recommend everyone join me, because it’s a highly lucky time. The sun and the moon are conjunct, so that means our astrological psyches are integrated in a rare opportunity to crystallize our intentions to the cosmos.

Really quickly, here are the parts of your life this moon will hit. This is by rising sign, so if you don’t know yours, go to astro.com and find out. Or ask me!

  • ♈ Aries: Career and fame

  • ♉ Taurus: Travel, higher education, publishing/broadcasting

  • ♊ Gemini: Other people’s money, sex dreams, desires/jealousy

  • ♋ Cancer: Marriage, partnership

  • ♌ Leo: Work, health, habits

  • ♍ Virgo: True love, creative output, children

  • ♎ Libra: Home, real estate

  • ♏ Scorpio: Communication, sibling relations, short trips

  • ♐ Sagittarius: Income, values, possessions

  • ♑ Capricorn: Identity, independence, self-possession

  • ♒ Aquarius: Mental health, vulnerabilities, self-undoing, dreams

  • ♓ Pisces: Friends, social groups, networks

With 10 wishes, you can represent plenty of hopes and dreams, but try to focus at least a few on something you want or need in the realm of your life that will be affected by this moon. If you want.


Second, Uranus going direct on Monday

Although Uranus retrograde will be over on the 7th, Uranus won’t be totally himself again until April 22nd, and until then, expect to relive some of the same turbulence that may or may not have rocked your world since August. I know I am, and I hate it. May you have better luck!

The planet brings abrupt change and then gets mad at you for not immediately getting on board, because you should just trust him. He’s a genius, didn’t he tell you? Who doesn’t just love a genius who tells you about it? Uranus is an asshole. Uranus would agree he’s an asshole. He’s proud of it, and that makes him an even bigger asshole.

Elon Musk is an Aquarius.

But we have to get right with Uranus or he’ll bite us in our Uranus. And the way to do that is to out-asshole him and one-up his ideas. Everything he does is a dare, and we have to not only accept but dare ourselves harder than he did. And even though that sounds psychotic, it’s allegedly worth it. I’ll let you know.

Right now Uranus in the last degrees of Aries, a friendly sign where the crackling genius of Uranian innovation can meet with that pure ram energy. These two gas each other up and destroy things, but in a good way.

What I’m saying is, Uranus is comfortable bro-ing out in Aries. But remember, he entered Taurus on May 15th (so long ago!) before he started going backwards. And after he goes direct this month, he’s going right back to the sign of the bull, where he’ll remain until 2025!

Image result for bull

And Uranus is in its fall when in Taurus. I will review the concept of placements in another issue, but the short version is that some planets like being in certain signs more than others. When they are in their least favorite sign, that’s their fall. And Uranus is in its fall in Taurus, because its heavy, predictable qualities are totally at odds with Uranus’s rebellious need to fuck up anything he thinks is too old-fashioned. Taurus goes with what works; Uranus moves fast and breaks things.

To give an example from my chart: Taurus rules my home sector, so that’s where Uranus is doing all his great work on me. I have lived in the same place (happily!) from 2012 to May 2018—right when Uranus entered the sign. In the latter half of last year, I lived at five different addresses. I was pretty much migrant. I might have to move again, and if so, it’ll be in April—when he’s fully recovered from his retrograde and back in Taurus.

That’s what’s up for next six years.


O.K. is OK, okay?

In my last issue I groused about how the word “okay” is written differently across (and within!) publications, which annoys me as a style enthusiast. I then implied that writing it with periods (“O.K.”) made the least sense because it’s not an initialism.

But here’s the thing: it actually is! A kind and observant reader pointed this out to me, and I wanted to officially correct the record.

The two prevailing theories involve our eighth president, Martin Van Buren.

  1. His 1840 re-election campaign slogan was “all correct,” which was facetiously misspelled as “orl korrect” (by political opponents?) and then abbreviated to O.K.

  2. Or it’s merely an abbreviation of Old Kinderhook, his nickname, which was derived from his birthplace, Kinderhook, New York. It’s said he used to sign off on line items using those initials, and that’s where it came to be synonymous with saying everything’s good.

Cool, huh? I still like it best when it’s okay. But they are all O.K.

If you liked this newsletter, please share it with anyone else you think might like it, too. And if you want access to my in-depth monthly horoscopes, as well as a chance to schedule readings, consider subscribing below! Thank you for reading and not believing in astrology.

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I don't believe in astrology #9

A newsletter in five parts (including the insight of the year) ✨

Part 1: Apologies

The Cold Moon was bad and Christmas was worse, at least for me and many close to me. I predicted it would be nothing to fear, and wow, was I wrong! Hopefully most of you had an easy holiday, and you’re still living in the extended vacation until New Year’s.

Really makes you doubt astrology, right? Me too.


Part 2: Bragging

I wrote a piece for InStyle on the “6 Times the Moon Is Really Going to Mess With You in 2019.” I figured since we had such a rough 2018, we’d be rewarded with an easy year—but no.

On the pro side, no Mars ♂ or Venus ♀ retrograde all year!

Quick prediction: January ‘19 is going to be very Aquarian, even though it’s mostly a Capricorn month. What that means is that there are two eclipses (one of which is a blood moon again) and Uranus is doing direct. That means abrupt change is coming, and it’s going to get weird really fast.

I am ready for that. Change always looks good to me because as an optimist (and an Aquarius rising), I can’t imagine that new will be worse than old.

That is often wrong, but feel free to boldly and foolishly proceed into the future. After all, we have literally no choice…


Part 3: More substantial bragging

I want to acknowledge a few milestones reached this year, since that’s the nature of New Year’s (and Capricorn season). And because my solar return had Jupiter on the midheaven (means career is popping), I have a lot to report.

  • Last month this newsletter broke 1,000 subscribers! It was a huge goal, and I want to thank everyone who ever read one word of this project! I truly love writing about astrology, and even though I am always worried it’ll bore me someday (as a Gemini, this is a valid fear), so far (33 years) it has not. It’s just the right mix of science (very little) and story (very a lot) to keep this fickle bird into it. Cheers to more! 🥂

  • I wrote 67 stories for PureWow alone (so far).

  • I’ve had 3 humor pieces in the The Belladonna, which has created an incredible community of writers, and its editors wrote the funniest book of the year, New Erotica for Feminists, based on their viral McSweeney’s piece of the same name.

  • Vulture let me write a huge feature on stand-up comedians and astrology.

  • Janice Magazine published one of the cutest pieces I’ve ever written about memes.

  • I wrote about where to summer during July’s blood moon for Points in Case, and I believe it all applies for the upcoming one in January.

  • Change of pace, but Business Insider ran my Q&A with Linda Zhang, an asset manager focused on sustainable and ethical investments, because my day job is in strategic financial communications, and I don’t know if anyone would realize that based on this newsletter! 💸

  • I became a contributor to Reductress.

  • Weekly Humorist ran a fun sketch mash-up of Silence of the Lambs and Facebook that still tickles me.

  • And as I said, InStyle published my harrowing forecast of all the scary moons next year.

  • I wrote tons of astrology, some humor, some essays, and a fair amount of Trump erotica on my Medium page.

kiki ♊🧚🏻‍♀️@alexkikibylines before 2018: @ThoughtCatalog @DigBoston bylines in 2018: @PureWow @The_Belladonnas @vulture @businessinsider @Reductress @WeeklyHumorist @PointsinCase @MagCalledJanice @InStyle bylines in 2019: the rest 😎

Jupiter is still on my midheaven until June 12, 2019, so I’m riding this wave as long as I can!


Part 4: Insight of the year ✨

Now that I have accomplished something, I am worried about losing everything. Here’s how I conquered that fear.

I thought about my wins this year and felt happy.

Then I thought, “What if no one ever publishes me again?”

“What if everything good is because of Jupiter and not because of me?”

“What if my luck runs out and no one ever wants to hear from me again?”

“What if writing comes to feel like a chore and editors can smell the defeat on me?”

Then I thought about getting older.

I’m 33, which isn’t old. But the specter of invisibility looms over every woman who dares to live another day.

“What if everything I make is dumb and irrelevant and no one cares?”

Then I started to picture myself, more gray-haired than I already am, softer and wrinklier, bags under the eyes a little deeper. And no one wants to listen to her. She’s not even a failure. She’s just in the way. A nothing. Death before death.

And I got really sad.

And then I asked myself this question.

“Can you ever imagine not being funny?”

“Nope.”

I immediately felt better. I’ll be fine. We can be fine.

Instead of a New Year’s resolution, I have this.


Part 5: What even was 2018?

In the year 2018…

  • We cared about stand-up and solo shows.

  • We all switched from TinyLetter to Substack.

  • We illustrated as much as we Photoshopped.

  • We still liked a higher rise on our jeans.

  • We still do memes — but for how long?

  • We still used a lot of emojis.

  • We were thankful for our exes.

  • We pivoted away from video.

  • We said “it me” too much. (Any utterance was too much.)

  • We just accepted ’s for the possessive of nouns that end in s. Like Jesus’s. Horrifying and wrong.

  • We still used Oxford commas (and you know I do in this letter because I am the boss of it).

  • We didn’t agree on how to write the word “okay” (some publications use “OK” or “O.K.,” but it doesn’t stand for anything, so…)

  • We had long hair.

  • We stopped believing in men.

  • We all believed in astrology.

But will we still believe in astrology in 2019? Probably, but I have to look it up in the stars.

See you next year with January horoscopes if you’re a paid! 🎉

I don't believe in astrology #8

Capricorns are actually the GOAT 🐐

Like a good little Gemini, I’m torn between my desires and my duties.

  1. What I should do: Warn you about the full moon in Cancer coming up on Saturday. 🌕

  2. What I want to do: Warn you about Capricorn season starting on Friday. ♑

“Warn” is strong in both cases, but I have a bad habit of being a cavalier fear monger about astrology. Just because I don’t believe in it (and who does?) doesn’t mean I have to be glib and provocative. But as a Gemini sun, Aquarius rising, and Aries moon, I actually do have to be glib and provocative.


The Cold Moon

I have actually warned PureWow readers about the full moon, which is called the Cold Moon, and thus earned too many puns from me about it being a “chill” or “not so cold” lunation. Evidence below.

December ‘scopes

Weekly ‘scopes

As far as full moons go, this one is going to be relatively headache-free. The Blood Moon of July was intense and dramatic like a CW show (and I’m still recovering), but this one is going to be calm and gentle like a Disney film.

Image result for the cold never bothered me anyway gif

Actually… Disney is a partial owner of CW, so maybe I’m giving myself a warning I don’t fully understand…


The GOAT of all time

Capricorn season is all about getting serious, so here we go. On the 21st, the sun enters the sign of the goat, kicking off winter, which, as a season, is such a Capricorn.

I’ve gone on the record about my begrudging respect of Capricorns. After the hedonistic spending spree of Sagittarius season, it is only right that we are visited by the zodiac’s belt-tightener.

But I want to warn you about Capricorn season, because it can feel like a hangover rather than a harvest.

Capricorn season—for everyone—forces us into tallying up our wins and losses for the year. The round-ups and the countdowns and the top tens. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but it can drain the meaning from your year.

This year I’ve written and published more than ever before in my life. It’s been surprising and rewarding.

But I’ve also sustained the most devastating, cutting personal losses—so much so that I’ve wondered if my real Saturn return (which happens when you’re 30) was on a three-year delay (I’m 33).

I started writing about astrology to deal with that. And it was all there in my chart.

I will never have this year again. I am grateful I had it, and I'm grateful it's over.

I am not saying this because I think you care. I'm saying this because I want you to say these things to yourself. I want you to make room for the meaning of your year amid all the ruthless accounting.

Acknowledge whatever bounty you have, even if it's a bounty of grief. If Ariana Grande can be grateful for her exes, then we can appreciate our own suffering.

behind the scenes thank you GIF by Ariana Grande

And if that’s too treacly, let me clarify something: I’m not talking about reconciliation. If someone hurt you and you grew, you don’t have to thank them for your progress. Ariana is grateful FOR her exes, not TO them. The fruits of your growth belong to you alone. None for them.

It might be embarrassing to admit that you deserve consideration, even from yourself, but you do. You’re not a consolation prize—you’re your own salvation.


The Favourite was Capricorn vs. Cancer vs. Leo

I discussed this extensively with myself last night in my dreams (as one does), and I’ve settled on the following astrological analysis of the three magnificent leads in The Favourite.

Rachel Weisz
  • Queen Anne (Olivia Colman): Leo ♌

    Of course the queen is a Leo. She’s obsessed with attention and wants desperately to be LOVED. Leos crave power differently than Capricorns or Cancers do—they want you to obey them because you truly want to, because you truly adore them. Anne’s power is only technical because she trades it away in bids for affection, and that vulnerability makes her susceptible to flattering manipulation. But why should she button up? She’s the queen! And for her, that means being the needy, ailing, woman-child she is, no matter who is watching.

  • Lady Sarah Churchill (Rachel Weisz): Cancer ♋

    Lady Sarah Churchill is such an excellent Cancer case study. She’s mean, overbearing, ambitious, but her specific power is through intimate, emotional, DOMESTIC manipulation. She negs on the queen to encourage dependence on her approval—that is so Cancer! Cancers need to be needed. Not loved, but needed. Sarah’s competence was an addiction for the queen, and she was happy to nurture it. And while Cancers are defensive, they never forget a wound, so they will attack (with their pinchers, those crabs) any perceived threat until it is destroyed, whether it be an ambitious relative or the esprit of France.

  • Abigail (Emma Stone): Capricorn ♑

    Very Margaery Tyrell in Game of Thrones, Abigail is a honey-tongued (wow, in a few ways, actually…) social climber we actually root for at first. But that’s just her skillful Capricorn branding at work. Capricorns are naturally adept at succeeding within limits, so her talents are at their sharpest when she is at her lowest status in the beginning of the film. They don’t wallow in self-pity after a setback—their strategic minds are already figuring out the next maneuver because time is money, honey! Abigail is never not-scheming in this movie, and the only time she really seems to lose her head (pun not intended and also not a spoiler!) is when she’s finally on top. What is a Capricorn without the climb?


This is not my last newsletter of the year!

But I guess I should close with a quick round-up of everything I’m grateful for.

If there’s anything you want me to cover in the last issue, tell me! Thank you, as always, for not believing in believing in astrology. ✨

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