I don't believe in astrology - July 2, 2018
July happened
Rabbit rabbit. Susan Miller's July horoscopes, as of this writing, are not posted yet, probably because she writes 40,000 words per sign and human beings weren't meant to produce so much.
Anyway, I also wrote too many words about July for PureWow, and check them out right now. Don't let the sassy copy fool you; July is going to be tough. We've in the thick of Mars retrograde, it's eclipse season, and even though Jupiter is finally coming back to his senses next week (by going direct, the opposite of retrograde), we're all dealing with a rain cloud of saggy, introspective planetary energy.
I apologize for always sounding like I'm comforting a trauma victim. Let me bring this down to a normal frequency for you: if you're having a bad year, this isn't going to be the worst month. If you're having a good year, this isn't going to be the best month. I believe we will all look back on July and think, that was... one of the many months this year.
Why I believe in astrology this time
I like astrology because even when it's prognosticating something terrible, it gives us instructions on how to get through it. There's always a lesson. If you're dealing with an afflicted Saturn, the trick is to buckle down and do the work. If Uranus is coming to town in a delicate place in your chart, it's time to get on board with change.
So here's my point of view, which you may recognize from Blaise Pascal. Even if astrology isn't real (and we know that it is not), it's harmless to follow it because it never asks anything of us we shouldn't already be doing. No matter what the circumstances, it usually gives us good advice. No one has their life together so much that they are above self-audit, and none of the major zodiac tasks -- to communicate, to love, to act, to give, to take, to analyze -- are anything but good practice.
It's like vitamins. I don't really think they do anything, but I eat a mouthful of capsuled powder every single day, just in case. I guess astrology is my religion right now, and like any good religion, it can be yours, too. Because it doesn't matter why you do a good thing.
(Sometimes it really, really does. But not in this case.)
Venus moves into Virgo on July 9
On Monday, July 9, Venus moves from Leo to Virgo. We'll find out what happens when love stops being polite and starts getting real. Venus represents how we love, flirt, and value things. In Leo, we were strutting. Leo loves themselves and makes no apologies. Virgo hates themselves and makes all the apologies. Their love language is criticizing people and then helping them fix themselves. Welcome to an era of honor and scruples -- which sound very unromantic, but actually underpin the kind of love that lasts. Virgo asks the best of our judgment and talents, and when you apply those abilities to love, luxury, and money, you usually win. I'm ready for her.
Solar eclipse new moon on July 12
Good! This is good. New moons are great, and solar eclipses are even better. This one hits in Cancer, the home sign of the moon, and it's in good aspect to Jupiter, which is in Scorpio, and Neptune, which is in Pisces. Together, they are the three water signs, and these planets are forming a grand trine in the sky. That means they like each other. We've got the moon (our emotions) in harmony with Jupiter (our aspirations) and Neptune (our dreams and intuition). This is a little mini-dawning of cosmic hope and goodwill for you, wherever Cancer hits in your chart, but write down 10 wishes right after this one peaks at 10:48 p.m., which I'm only now realizing is a little late. Maybe I'll set an alarm.
Moon is void, of course
Welcome to the most valuable part of this newsletter, by far. This is the real deal advice you all need, no matter what your rising sign is. For the next two weeks, circle these days and times and earmark them for writing, meditating, staying at home thinking about your mistakes, watching a lot of Netflix specials, low-stakes baking, finishing a poem, finishing a conversation you started a while ago.
And don't interview for a new job, date someone new, have a formative experience (schedule these for later), or make any major financial decisions during these times. Don't be afraid of them, just chill out with some cake and really think about what you've done.
July 4-5: 5:46 a.m. to 12:50 a.m.
July 7: 3:09 to 8:51 a.m.
July 9: 12:10 to 12:58 p.m.
July 10-11: 4:01 to 1:59 p.m.
July 12-13: 10:48 p.m. to 1:31 p.m.
July 14-15: 7:12 to 1:31 p.m.
Horoscopes for July 2 to July 15
Read for your rising sign. Unless it works for you to read for your sun. But that's probably because you have a first or twelfth house sun. And now I know that about you.
Aries + Aries rising... This week starts with harmony between your ego and your desires. Tuesday the 3rd, is especially sweet. On Thursday the 5th, watch your tongue as Mercury and Mars are opposed in your houses of friends and sexy friends. Maybe it's not your morning breath, but your morning attitude that's the problem. The solar eclipse on the 12th hits in your home sector, so if you're looking to enhance your apartment or your emotional apartment (how you nurture yourself in your most private moments and spaces), this is the energy that will bless your efforts.
Taurus + Taurus rising... The Mercury and Mars opposition on Thursday the 5th hits you at home or at work, and remember that Mercury is how we think and talk and Mars is how we channel our energy into action. If possible, take the day after the holiday off. But you'll likely forget about all that nonsense by July 9th, when Venus moves into your fifth house of true love and dating. That's a very friendly placement, and you're likely to experience some romantic luck whether or not you're currently attached. The solar eclipse hits your house of communication, so you may begin a writing assignment, or find a new way of looking at an old problem. Sometimes all we need is a mental re-frame, and we don't even have to change much. And I know you love not changing.
Gemini + Gemini rising... Maybe it's best for you not to travel too far around the 4th. Catch the fireworks from closer to home. The new moon on July 12th hits your second house of income, so obviously wish for more money. You'll have an added boost from Jupiter, going direct two days earlier, in your house of work. You'll be busy, but it's all for the greater good of getting you paid more. The weekend of the 15th, you'll enjoy the moon, Uranus, and Saturn in a nice configuration in your houses of stability and dreams. Uranus and Saturn are the planets of the new and the old, respectively, and you may find yourself inspired by what you already have.
Cancer + Cancer rising... The new moon solar eclipse on the 12th is in your sign, so it'll bring some hope to a tense situation between you and your partners, whether they be romantic, business, or nemesis (couldn't possibly tell from here). Use this one to pray for peace. Meanwhile, right before the 4th will be the best time to hang out with friends. Maybe have a game night Tuesday the 3rd. Venus moving into Virgo on the 9th gives you peace of mind, which you've long needed. You're an anxious crab, always, but Venus is a soothing presence no matter what. Enjoy her while she's there.
Leo + Leo rising... Venus is leaving your sign on July 9, and you may not be sad to see her go. Even though Venus grants us grace and beauty, she was opposed to angry, retrograde Mars in Aquarius this whole time. Better for everyone if those two are not fighting. On the 12th, the solar eclipse new moon happens in Cancer, which falls in your house of vulnerability and self-undoing. This is a very auspicious lunar event, and it's a perfect time to set intentions around mental health and keeping yourself present and quiet. It's usually hard for a Leo to settle down, but occasionally it must be done.
Virgo + Virgo rising... Venus is moving into your sign on the 9th. That means you'll feel more graceful and dignified than usual. Even if that is a very, very low baseline, you'll walk with a pep in your step. Additionally, Jupiter moving direct in your third house of communication on the 10th will likely give you momentum on a writing project -- or you might take a little trip. It's a holiday week, so that would make sense, and you'd be proving astrology right. The solar eclipse two days later will affect your house of friendships and group identity, so vow to be a little more social than usual. You don't have to be any less judgmental; just show up when you're invited.
Libra + Libra rising... This week starts with positive aspects lighting up your houses of income, work, and career, suggesting you might be working on something likely to confer both monetary and reputational rewards. Sometimes the latter is even better than money. You have two major helpers on this: Jupiter, the giver of gifts, going direct in your house of money, and the new moon hitting your career and publicity sector. Lean in, Libra, for at least these next two weeks. Earlier in the week, on the 9th, Venus moves into your house of vulnerability and self-undoing, soothing some of your deepest anxieties of late -- necessary protection when you're in career overdrive.
Scorpio + Scorpio rising... The Jupiter transit in your first house of self has likely made you even more charismatic than usual, and when he goes direct on the 10th, you'll feel even more charming. Are you planning a big trip soon? The solar eclipse on July 12 will hit in your house of world travel, and if nothing is on the books, you may want to start planning. Especially since this new moon is forming a trine (triangle, which is the most positive shape in the zodiac) with Jupiter in your first house and the sun in your dating and true love sector. Either bring a date on this fabulous trip to Europe or meet someone there. Around the 15th, the moon, Saturn, and Uranus, planets of the old and the new, respectively, will get you out of the house and feeling very social. Let them guide you, as these are big, intimidating planets, and it's nice to have them on your side for the weekend.
Sagittarius + Sagittarius rising... The new moon on July 12 will light up your house of other people's money, which always sounds like stealing. But it's really the area of your life that rules commissions, residuals, royalties, lottery winnings, taxes, and your spouse's direct income. If there's money to be made, this lunar event will help you make it. The weekend of the 7th will start out a bit rocky on Friday, when the Aries moon in your house of true love faces harsh angles from the sun and Pluto. That means your ego, your emotions, and your way down deeper emotions you barely understand will be in conflict. You might be tough to deal with, so maybe lay low that weekend. You might learn something about yourself if you just let yourself cry in the bathtub. You'll emerge a butterfly -- but an alive one.
Capricorn + Capricorn rising... The solar eclipse on July 12 hits in your house of serious relationships and partnership, and even if you're not married, this is an excellent time to look outward to everything you need and can't get by yourself. You're so industrious, but no one can do everything alone. This positive lunar event will help you get clarity on what best complements your gifts and talents. The week closes with Saturn, father time himself, Uranus, the god who ate his parents, and the moon, our unstable mother, all getting along if you can believe it, in your houses of identity, publishing, and love. Creativity and productivity will be aligned at this time, and whether you are writing something or going on a date, it'll be good.
Aquarius + Aquarius rising... The week starts out with some tension between you and a partner, so do yourself a favor and shut the fuck up. But Tuesday night is a little better, with the moon and sun getting along with Jupiter and Neptune, planets of luck and dreams, respectively. For you, Jupiter going direct on July 10 means another boost to your career, which has enjoyed his presence (and presents!) all year. And two days later, the solar eclipse will hit your house of work, suggesting new opportunities in the office or potentially in your daily physical routine. It's not just about fitness, but the healthy habits you practice every day. Yoga, cleaning your floors, watering your plants. The work that must be done. At the very least, you can brag about it.
Pisces + Pisces rising... These weeks open and close very favorably for you, with a well-aspected Jupiter lending you luck and love on Tuesday the 3rd, and then Saturn and Uranus giving your partnerships and friendships a boost of inspiration and stability near the 15th. Be as social as you like during these times, for you will find yourself particularly popular. In the middle, the new moon lands in your sector of true love, so if you're not already seeing someone, you're about to be. Or that energy could manifest as creative or pro-creative, so whether you're trying to launch an artistic project or try for a baby, you'll be at your most cosmically fertile.
Finally, the end
I have to recommend the Hannah Gadsby special, Nanette, on Netflix. It's therapy, it's truth-telling, it's heart-breaking but life-affirming. It's so many hyphenates. I'm not going to see Coco because I can't handle that level of crying at this moment in my life, but I've already watched Nanette multiple times.
I'm sorry for linking to The New Yorker for the review of Nanette. I didn't read it, and I shouldn't link to articles I don't read. I still didn't read that latest Ta-Nehisi Coates piece on Kanye that I know, I know I agree with. I'm the worst.
That's two links I haven't read! Here's a third: my little thing on boobs in The Belladonna Comedy. I haven't read it, but I did write it.
Thank you for tuning in. If you liked this newsletter, please tell others about it. Meanwhile you can find me writing for PureWow and The Belladonna Comedy, and I'm on Twitter and Medium @alexkiki.