Like a good little Gemini, Iām torn between my desires and my duties.
What I should do: Warn you about the full moon in Cancer coming up on Saturday. š
What I want to do: Warn you about Capricorn season starting on Friday. ā
āWarnā is strong in both cases, but I have a bad habit of being a cavalier fear monger about astrology. Just because I donāt believe in it (and who does?) doesnāt mean I have to be glib and provocative. But as a Gemini sun, Aquarius rising, and Aries moon, I actually do have to be glib and provocative.
The Cold Moon
I have actually warned PureWow readers about the full moon, which is called the Cold Moon, and thus earned too many puns from me about it being a āchillā or ānot so coldā lunation. Evidence below.
As far as full moons go, this one is going to be relatively headache-free. The Blood Moon of July was intense and dramatic like a CW show (and Iām still recovering), but this one is going to be calm and gentle like a Disney film.
Actuallyā¦ Disney is a partial owner of CW, so maybe Iām giving myself a warning I donāt fully understandā¦
The GOAT of all time
Capricorn season is all about getting serious, so here we go. On the 21st, the sun enters the sign of the goat, kicking off winter, which, as a season, is such a Capricorn.
Iāve gone on the record about my begrudging respect of Capricorns. After the hedonistic spending spree of Sagittarius season, it is only right that we are visited by the zodiacās belt-tightener.
But I want to warn you about Capricorn season, because it can feel like a hangover rather than a harvest.
Capricorn seasonāfor everyoneāforces us into tallying up our wins and losses for the year. The round-ups and the countdowns and the top tens. Thereās nothing inherently wrong with it, but it can drain the meaning from your year.
This year Iāve written and published more than ever before in my life. Itās been surprising and rewarding.
But Iāve also sustained the most devastating, cutting personal lossesāso much so that Iāve wondered if my real Saturn return (which happens when youāre 30) was on a three-year delay (Iām 33).
I started writing about astrology to deal with that. And it was all there in my chart.
I will never have this year again. I am grateful I had it, and I'm grateful it's over.
I am not saying this because I think you care. I'm saying this because I want you to say these things to yourself. I want you to make room for the meaning of your year amid all the ruthless accounting.
Acknowledge whatever bounty you have, even if it's a bounty of grief. If Ariana Grande can be grateful for her exes, then we can appreciate our own suffering.
And if thatās too treacly, let me clarify something: Iām not talking about reconciliation. If someone hurt you and you grew, you donāt have to thank them for your progress. Ariana is grateful FOR her exes, not TO them. The fruits of your growth belong to you alone. None for them.
It might be embarrassing to admit that you deserve consideration, even from yourself, but you do. Youāre not a consolation prizeāyouāre your own salvation.
The Favourite was Capricorn vs. Cancer vs. Leo
I discussed this extensively with myself last night in my dreams (as one does), and Iāve settled on the following astrological analysis of the three magnificent leads in The Favourite.
Queen Anne (Olivia Colman): Leo ā
Of course the queen is a Leo. Sheās obsessed with attention and wants desperately to be LOVED. Leos crave power differently than Capricorns or Cancers doāthey want you to obey them because you truly want to, because you truly adore them. Anneās power is only technical because she trades it away in bids for affection, and that vulnerability makes her susceptible to flattering manipulation. But why should she button up? Sheās the queen! And for her, that means being the needy, ailing, woman-child she is, no matter who is watching.
Lady Sarah Churchill (Rachel Weisz): Cancer ā
Lady Sarah Churchill is such an excellent Cancer case study. Sheās mean, overbearing, ambitious, but her specific power is through intimate, emotional, DOMESTIC manipulation. She negs on the queen to encourage dependence on her approvalāthat is so Cancer! Cancers need to be needed. Not loved, but needed. Sarahās competence was an addiction for the queen, and she was happy to nurture it. And while Cancers are defensive, they never forget a wound, so they will attack (with their pinchers, those crabs) any perceived threat until it is destroyed, whether it be an ambitious relative or the esprit of France.
Abigail (Emma Stone): Capricorn ā
Very Margaery Tyrell in Game of Thrones, Abigail is a honey-tongued (wow, in a few ways, actuallyā¦) social climber we actually root for at first. But thatās just her skillful Capricorn branding at work. Capricorns are naturally adept at succeeding within limits, so her talents are at their sharpest when she is at her lowest status in the beginning of the film. They donāt wallow in self-pity after a setbackātheir strategic minds are already figuring out the next maneuver because time is money, honey! Abigail is never not-scheming in this movie, and the only time she really seems to lose her head (pun not intended and also not a spoiler!) is when sheās finally on top. What is a Capricorn without the climb?
This is not my last newsletter of the year!
But I guess I should close with a quick round-up of everything Iām grateful for.
You š
PureWow, The Belladonna Comedy, Vulture, Points in Case, Janice Magazine, Reductress, Weekly Humorist, Business Insider for publishing me
Friends, writers, and editors who encouraged me and/or rejected me
Anyone Iāve talked to one-on-one about their chart
My family
Everyone who voted
Drake for making the song of the summer about me
You, again šš
If thereās anything you want me to cover in the last issue, tell me! Thank you, as always, for not believing in believing in astrology. āØ